Monday, 4 November 2013

Would you like chlamydia with that?

You know the sort of people who work in bars and restaurants? They’re young, vibrant, up for a laugh and some extra money along the way. Not like in Europe where these jobs are perfectly acceptable careers. In the UK restaurants have a fairly high turnover of staff and it can be quite a transient profession. For the people that worked for me, this was not a career choice it was just a happy little stopgap. The team at Ah Bar was primarily made up of young 20-somethings and they were in the prime of their life. And being in the prime of your life also means you might be a bit quicker to have some fun and a fumble with someone of the sex you happen to be attracted to. The young ones at Ah Bar were no different. They were most certainly having a good time with each other. Until one day an ex-employee I had had to sack after a dramatic potato gratin incident walked in with some news for a handful of them.

This particular employee was only around 21 and she was a fantastic waitress when she wanted to be. When she was on top form the whole place bounced and ran like clockwork. She was witty, hardworking and a laugh a minute. She also had an eye for the boys. Let’s call her Vicky (this is not her real name). Vicky started having a fling with one of the chefs. There was nothing wrong with this.  They were young, free and single. It didn’t bother me one bit so long as they could still work a shift together and not let it get in the way. She even asked to do a couple of shifts in the kitchen to be closer to him. She was a fast learner and a good worker so I scheduled her in for some kitchen shifts and all was going swimmingly, until one night after an argument with him she threw a massive dish of freshly made potato gratin on the floor in anger, minutes before a busy service. Do you know how long it takes to cook the perfect potato gratin?

The kitchen was a mess and the floor was dangerous to walk on as it was covered in slippery, but very tasty gratin. The time and money wasted on throwing the whole evening’s portion of one of our most popular side dishes was incalculable and I just couldn’t have someone that unpredictable working for me. I had no choice but to ask her to leave there and then. It was the first time I had ever sacked anyone, ever. I yelled at her, Ramsay style, and told her to get out of the building and not to come back to work here again. I did wonder if she might lamp me as she left she was so wound up but she didn’t. We were left to wonder what the hell just happened and clean up the mess at the same time as thinking of a quick to cook side for the popular chicken dish. 

Things calmed down a bit after that and Vicky could often be seen walking past the restaurant on the other side of the road but never coming in. Until one day she sheepishly walked up to the bar and asked me if she could talk to the chef she had been seeing. I called him out and said she could take a seat. The two of them had a private chat in the corner and he put his head in his hands. He wasn’t enjoying whatever it was she was saying. I could only speculate. The chef walked back into the kitchen with his head down. Vicky walked back to the bar and I wondered what she was going say. Perhaps apologise for the gratin incident? Oh no. She wanted to see the Sous Chef as well. I called him out and they had a very similar chat at the same table, him with head in his hands and her with her head down. After this chat he slumped back into the kitchen and she walked up to the bar to ask if another staff member was in. He was not. She said she would call him. She then walked out of the bar without looking back.

It turned out, they explained, that she had found a job working overseas on a cruise ship somewhere and rather sensibly went for a sexual health MOT before leaving. This is where they discovered she had chlamydia. She had come into the bar to tell the people she had slept with so that they could get themselves checked out as well. They both had it. Nice. This is something no business advisor or bank manager will ever tell you when you’re setting up a business. Staff sleeping with each other can cause you to lose valuable time, money and potato gratin. They are young adults and short of putting condoms in with their wage slips there’s not an awful lot you can do to stop them.

What not to do notes:
·       Hire a mix of ages - experience has MUCH to offer
·       Don’t give in to requests for loved up staff to work together
·       Don’t get involved, keep it professional and ask staff to do the same
·       Have a back up plan for side dishes*
·       Give staff feedback on how they work so they know what’s expected of them


*This shouldn’t actually be necessary, should it?

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